Words Matter.
The language leaders use shapes the culture people experience.
Every conversation creates something.
Carmil Surritt helps school and district leaders become more intentional about the language they use every day so they can strengthen relationships, navigate difficult conversations, build healthier cultures, and create environments where educators and students can thrive.
Carmil Surritt
Author of "Words Matter: Change Your Words, Change Your Life"
Trusted by Education Leaders Across the Country
Leadership happens one conversation at a time.
"Culture is not created by a mission statement hanging on the wall. It is created in conversations."
It is created in the way a principal responds to a struggling teacher.
The way an administrator navigates disagreement.
The way a leader communicates expectations.
The way educators speak with parents.
And the way adults speak to students when things are difficult.
The words we choose communicate far more than information. They can communicate belief, expectation, respect, trust, judgment, possibility, or resistance.
And sometimes the smallest words have the greatest impact.
Carmil helps leaders recognize the influence hidden inside everyday language and become more conscious of the words they use, especially in the moments when pressure is high and conversations matter most.
Because when leaders change the conversation, they can change what happens next.
People respond to more than what we mean.
They respond to what they hear.
Most leaders are not intentionally trying to make people defensive, shut down creativity, or create resistance.
But communication habits are deeply ingrained.
Carmil teaches that certain everyday words and phrases can cause people to brace themselves, become defensive, or feel judged before the real conversation has even begun.
When that happens:
Collaboration
becomes harder.
Problem-solving
becomes harder.
Trust
becomes harder.
The goal is not to speak perfectly. The goal is to become conscious of how the words we choose affect the person on the other side of the conversation.
Because when people feel safe, respected, and heard, they are more able to participate, contribute, take ownership, solve problems, and move forward together.
A small word can change an entire conversation.
Consider the word “but.”
“You did a great job, but here’s what needs to change.”
For many people, everything before the word but immediately becomes questionable.
They begin waiting for the criticism.
“You did a great job, and here’s what we can improve.”
The message can still be honest. Expectations can still be clear.
Accountability can still exist. But the conversation feels very different.
That is the heart of Carmil’s work. Small shifts in language can create meaningful shifts in the way people respond.
Words such as but, should, not, always, never, just, and only can appear almost automatically in everyday conversation.
Words Carmil asks audiences to become more conscious of:
Carmil helps leaders notice those patterns, understand the response they may be creating, and become more intentional about what they say instead. His book goes deeply into the effect of “should,” “not,” and “but,” including ways questions and alternative language can invite curiosity and engagement instead of defensiveness.
Leadership Under Pressure
The conversations that matter most are often the conversations we have when things are not going well.
Most leaders know how they want to communicate. The challenge comes when pressure rises.
Those high-stakes moments:
Those are the moments when unconscious communication habits can take over.
A conversation intended to create accountability can quickly create defensiveness.
A conversation intended to solve a problem can become an argument.
A conversation intended to help someone improve can leave them feeling criticized, diminished, or shut down.
Carmil helps leaders recognize those moments and communicate with greater intention so difficult conversations can still produce trust, accountability, learning, and forward movement.
Safety. Trust. Belonging.
People engage differently when they feel safe enough to participate.
At the center of Carmil’s work is a simple human truth:
We are wired to belong.
When people feel:
Judged, threatened, diminished, or pushed away...
They naturally protect themselves.
When people feel:
Respected, heard, and included...
This is why the words leaders choose matter so much. They help create the conditions in which people either protect themselves from the conversation or become part of it.
The book develops this connection between language, safety, trust, and belonging throughout its opening chapters.
Practical tools leaders can use Monday morning.
Carmil’s presentations are designed to change the way attendees hear everyday conversations and give them practical tools they can immediately begin using.
Build Greater Trust
Recognize how intentional language can strengthen relationships between leaders, educators, students, colleagues, and families.
Navigate Difficult Conversations
Approach challenging conversations with greater clarity, confidence, respect, and purpose.
Create Greater Ownership
Use language that encourages responsibility, collaboration, and problem-solving rather than defensiveness and resistance.
Reduce Unnecessary Conflict
Recognize common words and communication patterns that can unintentionally escalate tension.
Strengthen School Culture
Understand how everyday conversations compound over time to shape the environment educators and students experience.
Repair Trust
Learn how accountability and intentional communication can help rebuild relationships after trust has been damaged.
Speaker. Author. Student of human behavior.
Carmil Surritt has spent decades studying how people communicate, connect, respond to pressure, and get their needs met.
His fascination with human behavior began during a major turning point in his own life when, at almost 20 years old, the future he had imagined for himself suddenly changed.
That experience began a lifelong exploration of personal development, human behavior, communication, trust, accountability, and belonging.
Over decades of leadership, coaching, mentoring, facilitating, and working with people, Carmil began noticing the same pattern again and again:
"Sometimes changing a single word changes the entire conversation."
As the author of Words Matter, Carmil now brings those lessons to audiences through engaging stories, practical insights, audience interaction, and simple communication tools people can immediately put into practice.
His message is not about memorizing the perfect thing to say. It is about becoming more conscious of the impact our words have on the people around us.
And at the heart of every presentation is one simple idea: Words Matter.
Words Matter
Change Your Words, Change Your Life
The words we use every day shape more than conversations.
They influence how safe people feel with us.
How much they trust us.
How willing they are to listen, collaborate, take responsibility, and stay connected.
And they shape the way we see and speak to ourselves.
In Words Matter: Change Your Words, Change Your Life, Carmil D. Surritt III explores the often-overlooked impact of everyday language and shows how seemingly small changes in the words we choose can create dramatically different responses.
Drawing from decades of coaching, facilitating, personal development, and working with people, Carmil examines how language can contribute to fear, shame, defensiveness, confusion, and separation or help create greater safety, clarity, trust, and belonging.
Readers explore how to become more aware of common communication patterns, including the impact of words such as “should,” “not,” and “but,” and how more intentional language can open the door to curiosity, understanding, collaboration, and healthier relationships.
The book also explores:
- The relationship between language, fear, safety, and belonging
- The impact of self-talk
- How questions can replace judgment with curiosity
- Communicating what you do want rather than only what you do not want
- Building healthier, more trusting connections
- Repairing trust after communication breaks down
"Change your words. Change your life."
Get the BookMore than a keynote people enjoy.
A message they continue using after the event is over.
Practical, Not Theoretical
Carmil gives leaders communication strategies they can use in their very next conversation.
Grounded in Real Life
His message comes from decades of coaching, facilitating, mentoring, leadership, personal growth, and working directly with people.
Interactive and Memorable
Attendees do more than listen. Carmil helps them hear and experience how small changes in language can change the way a conversation feels.
Built for Immediate Impact
People leave with ideas and language they can begin applying immediately.
The Measure of Success
The goal is not for attendees to walk away saying:
“That was a great speech.”
The goal is for them to find themselves weeks later, in the middle of an important conversation, thinking:
“I remembered what Carmil said.”
Keynotes and workshops built for education leaders.
Carmil’s signature keynote creates the shared idea and common language. His interactive workshop gives teams an opportunity to take that message deeper, examine their own communication patterns, and practice applying the principles to the conversations they face every day.
The two programs can be booked independently or together.
Words Matter
How Intentional Language Builds Trust, Leadership, and Student Success
The words leaders choose every day shape far more than conversations. They shape culture.
Every leader has experienced a conversation that did not go the way they intended. A simple request creates resistance. Feedback becomes defensiveness. An attempt at accountability becomes conflict. Often, the problem is not the intention behind the conversation. It is the language inside it.
In Words Matter, Carmil Surritt helps audiences recognize the surprising influence everyday words can have on trust, safety, belonging, accountability, and collaboration.
Drawing from the principles in his book and decades of working with people, Carmil demonstrates how small shifts in communication can change the way people hear a message and respond to the person delivering it.
Attendees will learn how intentional communication can help them:
- Strengthen trust
- Reduce unnecessary conflict
- Increase ownership
- Improve collaboration
- Navigate challenging conversations
- Communicate more effectively under pressure
- Support teachers and staff
- Strengthen relationships with students and families
- Create healthier school cultures
Format: 45 to 60 minutes
Ideal for: General sessions, education conferences, district events, superintendent events, leadership summits, principal conferences, professional development days, administrative retreats, and staff events.
Every Conversation Counts
Practical Communication Strategies for Stronger Schools and Stronger Leaders
Every conversation is an opportunity to strengthen trust, increase ownership, and positively influence culture. Knowing that words matter is the beginning. Learning how to change the conversation is where the work becomes practical.
In this interactive program, Carmil takes participants deeper into the principles behind Words Matter and helps them examine the language they use in real situations with staff, colleagues, students, and families.
Through examples, discussion, reflection, and hands-on exercises, participants experience how different language choices can change the emotional tone of a conversation. They learn to recognize common communication habits that create defensiveness, judgment, or resistance and explore alternatives that encourage engagement, accountability, collaboration, and problem-solving.
Participants leave better equipped to:
- Prepare for difficult conversations
- Communicate expectations clearly
- Listen with greater intention
- Recognize language that creates defensiveness
- Reduce unnecessary conflict
- Ask better questions
- Build greater trust
- Encourage ownership
- Strengthen collaboration
- Respond thoughtfully when emotions are high
- Repair trust when communication breaks down
- Communicate more effectively under pressure
Format: Breakout session, extended workshop, or half-day training
Audience: Small or large leadership groups
Start the conversation. Then take it deeper.
For conferences, districts, and leadership events wanting a deeper experience, Carmil’s keynote and workshop can be delivered together.
Words Matter gives the entire audience a shared message and common language. Every Conversation Counts gives participants the opportunity to explore that message more deeply and practice applying the principles to real conversations. The result is more than a keynote people remember—it becomes a conversation the organization can continue.
Ask About Bringing Both to Your EventA message people take back to their schools.
Feedback from education leaders and event organizers
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua."
Name
Title
Organization
"Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur."
Name
Title
Organization
"Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium."
Name
Title
Organization
Carmil is a strong fit for:
Custom-tailored keynotes and workshops for educational communities:
What conversations could change your organization?
The conversations happening inside your organization every day are shaping trust, relationships, leadership, and culture.
Bring Words Matter to your next conference, district event, leadership summit, professional development day, or staff training.
Tell us a little about your event and we will connect with you about Carmil’s availability and the program that best fits your audience.
Tell Us About Your Event
Share a few details below and Carmil’s team will follow up to discuss your event, audience, goals, and availability.